Traveler or tourist?

I've slept and talked to some loved ones this morning so I feel better than I did last night. I wanted to write yesterday night, and yesterday morning, but whenever I'd try and use the internet at my little hotel here, the connection was defunct. Yesterday I bought two packs of batteries, brought them to my room, tried them in my camera - both were dead. I splurged on some rechargeable batteries then, upon the suggestion of some men at the Kodak store around the corner. They said they were the only batteries that would work. I got the batteries and the charger for 500 rupees, which is ridiculously expensive, but I'm in a tourist town so I have to accept the price. Man there said it'd be eight hours to fully charge the batteries. I did this - and when I excitedly put the batteries in my camera, there was nothing. The camera wouldn't turn on. Sadness.

I might be heading into whiny territory, so please bear with me. It's all part of the "India Experience." I was told I'd feel this way at some point. Frustrated, angry - at others and myself, and sad. But, what can you do. (Said with a sigh and a shrug, when it's not even a question but a statement. You know.)

Nitya's lovely home is located in the village of Mechira, located in central Kerala. The two closest cities are Chalakudy to the south and Kodakara, where Nitya's wife Regha is from, to the north. For the first ten days of my trip, I had not seen another white person. It was only when we went to the waterfalls that I saw a group of oddly dressed French people prancing around, being all weird and touristy. They were wearing jeans, tight wife beaters, and sunglasses. They immediately annoyed me.

On the 15th Fanny and I took a rickshaw and three buses to Fort Cochin, a little city on the Arabian Sea. Driving through Cochin was interesting because it was huge and bustling with people, much like other cities I had visited. People were being helpful as usual.

We get there. By the time we arrive it is dark. We find our B&B - yes, a bed and breakfast, which should have been an indication of what was to come - meet the host, and admire our room. It's pretty beautiful. It's worth the 700 rupees a night, I think. We're staying here because Fanny's mom's friend arrived from France last night and is staying at the same "home stay" - did you know France is only three hours away? It's crazy, and it explains why there are so many French here. So so so many French.

On our first night we decided to explore. It was much to our surprise to see not one, not two, but HUNDREDS of white people, walking around, being white. Culture shock is not living with a group of loving people who speak another language and wipe their butts with their hands. Culture shock is walking down a street in India and hearing Bob Dylan. Or going to an Italian restaurant and eating pizza, which is what we decided to do. Go big or go home, I guess.

Who are all these people? These people in their skimpy outfits, drinking wine on a patio, getting drunk like they were at home or in Goa. Why come to India and just do what you do at home, only in a different place?

Not only do the tourists bother me, but the merchants too. The "Fort" is a tourist area and Indians make their money by scamming "rich" white people. Everything is overpriced. Yes, 200 rupees is roughly $2, but a pen for that much? No. Not anywhere but here. 900 rupees for a decent shirt? Only if you're white. The first night I made a joke of it - they hassled me so I hassled them. They stand at their doors and beg you to come in (at restaurants as well) if you so much as make eye contact with them, and maybe if you look at a pashmina in the window they'll say, "many more inside, come inside." It's like they've read a guidebook on how to get white people to buy shit.

The thing is, everything they're selling is basically what I've wanted to buy for myself, my friends, and my new apartment. How did they know I wanted a scarf like that, or a wall covering in that style? How did they know? Because I'm white and a sucker like the rest of them. They know what white people want. White people want crafts and nick-nacks for their homes, and fancy flowing clothing that screams "I WENT TO INDIA AND PAID 1200 RUPEES FOR THIS STUPID WRAP SHIRT." Twelve-hundred rupees for a damn shirt! I bought two Punjabi suits, two shirts, a house-dress (called a "nighty"), and three bracelets for 1200 rupees in Kodakara. That is the Indian price. In fact, most stores outside the tourist area have fixed prices on their merchandise, usually a sticker on the garment that says "Maximum retail price: rupees: #" so nobody gets cheated.

I'll tell you what happened to me. Near our home stay is a "cottage arts and crafts" store called Krishna Kripa that has some pretty nice stuff. I saw a necklace there that screamed the name of a certain person so I asked the price. One-fifty. Hmmmm, I think, and I switch into haggle mode. I see another necklace I like - two-fifty, he says. How about both for 300? I ask. He looks at them and he says, no, no I can't do that, this is worth more. I wait until Fanny gets there so I can ask her what she thinks because I am new to this game and I have no idea what the actual worth of a necklace is here. We walk into the back of the store - where we are followed by the way, these merchants don't give you any space whatsoever. I even asked him to give us some privacy and he laughed and acted like he didn't understand - or he did understand but didn't feel like leaving. So Fanny says that the one necklace doesn't look like it's worth more than 80 rupees. Well. I put the necklaces down and we walked away.

I came back the next day on my own. I couldn't resist. I thought the necklace was perfect for my friend (ooooooh, mystery gift, who's it gonna be?!?!) so I went back into the store and browsed some more. I found some pants I really liked - they're a style that is popular for yoga that I haven't seen in Toronto. Not that I've actually looked, but still. Fanny gave me her pair because she didn't like the material. The same man trying to sell me the necklaces was now trying to sell me the same cheap pants with the same cheap material. For 150 - which is cheap, but I'm not getting quality. He then showed me the same style but with a thicker, heavier material, for an extra 150 rupees. I thought it was worth it so I decided to get them. How about 250, I said. 275, he responded. We went back to the necklace. All together it would be 400. 300, I said. First he said no, then he went over some things in his head, and I just watched him for a while do this, rolling his eyes to the back of his skull with flickering eyelids and shaking his head from side to side, and then the decision: yes! My assumption is that if he's going to let me haggle him down to that price then I'm probably still grossly overpaying. I was definitely right.

Later we took the ferry to the main city of Cochin. It was a nice ride, we even saw dolphins flippin' their tails in the water. I honestly have NO IDEA how any life form can live in the water, there is so much garbage floating around, it's unbelievable. But off in the distance, some dolphins. Shit's crazy. So! we get to Cochin, only a fifteen minute ferry ride. Suddenly we're back in India. We spent the afternoon there and I saw NO WHITE PEOPLE! None! We're back to crowded streets and honking horns and maximum retail prices - no white people. We ended up on a strip of wholesale stores. One store caught my eye. There were necklaces hanging from racks at the front, one of which looked DISTINCTLY FAMILIAR. It was the same necklace! How much, I asked. Sixty rupees the man responds. KJFJKDGLJGJKDFH! is how I felt, but what a valuable lesson to learn.

India is difficult. It's not easy to be yelled at continuously to buy crap you don't want - that's not done in smaller, less tourist-oriented cities. Or to be yelled at in general. "Hey miss, hey miss, hey miss," while a man is following close behind. I was ready to crack skulls last night. I was mad. One guy was following me so I slowed down and started to follow him. He didn't like it. "Hey, hey, where are you from? You study? What study?" and "Come into my store, come in, do you like this? More inside. I'll give you the best price." No no no no no. Leave me alone. Or even better: "We have beer, do you want beer?" Yes, give me beer... to block the yuppies out... must... kill... everybody...